MEDIA RELEASE From the International Cricket Council For immediate release (especially in India)
Was sent this email from a mate and found it very amusing. A great piece of Aussie sarcasm that is probably not far from what some people would like!
Malcolm Speed has this morning announced several changes to the playing
conditions for the forthcoming 3rd test in Perth between Australia and
India. These changes include:
* India must win.
* The umpires shall be nominated by the Indian team. It will be
acceptable if reserve Indian players rotate as umpires.
* During the game all appeals shall be referred to the Indian management
team and the Indian media contingent prior to any decision being made.
(This includes where an Indian player may appear to the naked eye that
they have been bowled.)
* When the Indian team is batting the boundary rope shall be moved
inwards 20 metres.
* Australian bowlers shall bowl under arm.
* India must win.
* Any time Ricky Ponting is on the field he shall be restrained in a
full length strait jacket and muzzled.
* Any Australian spin bowler must advise the batsman in advance what
type of delivery is going to be bowled.
* At any time Andrew Symonds is on the field he must wear a gorilla suit
and accept any sledging in the light hearted manner that this is
intended.
* India must win.
* Harbhajan Singh will be cleared on appeal and be nominated for a Nobel
Peace Prize.
* Indian batsman may be permitted to use larger bats.
* Australian batsmen may use a bat every fifth over.
* Australian fieldsman should praise every batting attempt by the
Indians by saying “Good shot chaps.” Apart from this Australian players
are not permitted to speak.
* During the lunch and tea break both teams shall get together and have
a cup of tea.
* India must win.
The ICC and the BCCI hope that all Australians will understand these
minor changes are intended in the best interest of the game.
The ICC would also like to announce that Steve Bucknor has been
appointed as the ICC’s new cricketing ambassador to Kazakhstan. The ICC
wishes Steve all the best in this important, newly created role.
